And I DO mean Happy Monday. Seriously. My weekend was absolutely MISERABLE.

I was sick in bed with the flu all weekend. I got home from work on Friday and pretty much didn’t get out of bed until Sunday afternoon. And when I DID get out of bed…I realized my apartment had a minor flood. Again. Ugh! And it figures that this weekend was absolutely gorgeous, too.

The only bright spot to my weekend was waking up briefly to watch TAYLOR SWIFT host this week’s SNL. Her monologue was fantastic! The rest of the show…eh. But I’m not sure if it was actually the show or if I was coughing so much I missed the punchlines.

Check out my moment of sunshine below!

Long story too long already, I feel much better, the plumber is coming over to fix my house, today is a gorgeous day, and I’m ready to start the week on another (almost healthy) foot.

You thought your day sucked…

I know you like gossip stories…here’s a good one for you:

So, I have a buddy, who’s seeing this girl. Self-explanatory, right? Well, there is a slight dilemma that you may think is minor, but it has the ability to manipulate the direction of the ENTIRE future breakup relationship (YES, IT’S THAT IMPORTANT!)

This comes from my buddy’s perspective: They went on a little date to meet up and get to know each other. They met through FACEBOOK (how ’bout that, you don’t need eHarmony.com or be a douche like JON GOSSELIN to find someone). It was towards the end of the night, if you call 4am the end of the night…and she was ready for the end-of-night kiss. She goes in for the kill, and he answers the call.

My friend tells me this is the best part.

She tells him it was too rough…

Too rough?

 ”Yeah, it needs to be slow and passionate.”

So, he adjusts accordingly and changes speed, lowers the gear a little–if you will. They said goodbye and left.

The reason I write to you with a sense of urgency (not really) in my blog? My lazy good friend wanted me to reach out to you…what kind of kiss do the ladies appreciate???

The slow and passionate, or the rough and hardcore?? Do the hands need to do anything? What’s part of the kissing package??? He wants me to get some feedback and see what YOU think (I’m a good friend.)

Before we switched to an unlimited plan, my son, Scotty, jumped the gun a little to the tune of over $400!!!! AHHHHH!!!

He was very sorry…so much, that he wanted to tape a public service announcement.

Have you seen this before?  Maybe I’ve been too busy working and ignoring my family to watch it.  Kidding.